The EMDR Diaries #2
history taking, resource figures and hyper independence
Welcome to the The EMDR Diaries, where I bring you, the reader, along with me for the highs and lows of Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing (EMDR) for trauma. For most of my life I’ve felt alone in my struggles, I’ve wondered what was wrong but never quite being able to put my finger on it. I know it’s the same for many of us, so it’s my hope these diaries are a comfort, or maybe more simply an insight into life as an adult post traumatic childhood experiences.
This is for paid subscribers only. Thanks for coming along for the ride and supporting my writing, it really does mean the world. ❤️
TW: Whilst I don’t go into specifics, in this diary entry I talk about childhood trauma and therapy.
Firstly, thank you. Pressing publish on that first post was honestly pretty nerve wracking (as you can imagine), so having your support and messages was a huge comfort ~ and knowing so many of you can relate and feel less alone is exactly why I started this.
I wanted to leave it a few weeks before sharing my initial experience with it. It’s been complex, and I’ve found it hard gathering the words to sum it up in all honesty.
I’ve had a few questions about what EMDR actually is and the process of the therapy. As part of this series I’ll do a full Q&A post, so if you do have any questions please let me know. Worth mentioning too, only paid subscribers will have access to comment so your comment won’t be visible to anyone who isn’t part of the Slower Space paid community (or as always if you’d feel more comfortable sharing in dm’s, please feel free to message me).
History taking and resourcing figures
October and November were rough. Looking back I don’t think I gave myself enough time to acknowledge just how intense this form of therapy could be. For some context, I’m coming to EMDR with 3 years worth of Transactional Analysis (a form of talking therapy). I thought I’d already done so much of the work, and although I’ve made a dint throughout my 20’s, the early sessions made me realise that there’s still a whole lot left to process and work through.
The initial session was history taking. This is always the case with EMDR so the therapist understands your background and any potential traumatic moments. History taking made me face and acknowledge how much of the past was still haunting me. I was confronted with how it still felt difficult to talk about these things despite more than 15 years passing (and feeling like I’d confronted so much of it before!)