Why I decided to quit drinking

exploring social anxiety, the fear of not fitting in, belonging, and thinking alcohol made me a "better" version of myself

Can you relate to the struggle of stopping after two? The thought that you’re a better person to be around when you’ve had a drink? That conversations become easier and lighter with the help of alcohol? Or (the thing I dreaded the most) that specific anxiety and unease that comes the morning after the night before?

My teenage years and early twenties were filled with drinking to get drunk. Like so many it was the norm in my social circles. It became kind of glamorous in a way, and like I had to get drinking out of the way in my 20’s or I’d regret not having more “fun”. I don’t remember regretting much or doing anything too crazy, it just became a way to have fun and “let loose” (and fit in)…

Then, I started to question why. Slowly over the past couple of years I came to the conclusion that drinking didn’t add to my life in any way shape or form - if anything, it was massively taking away.

Something that I can’t ignore that’s part of my story is that binge drinking was a norm I saw as a child. The chaos and unpredictability alcohol and substance abuse causes was something I became all too familiar with, and I think as I delved deeper into why, the sense of unease I felt as an adult made even more sense.

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I want to put this out there before I continue, this post really isn’t to shame or make anyone who drinks alcohol feel bad about that choice. This is my why, and an account of how the past 7 months have been, alcohol free.

This post is actually inspired by yesterday’s YouTube video if you fancy watching that (with a few more details because Substack feels like a safe place to share!).

Why I stopped drinking

I stopped drinking for so many reasons. I was using it to help me out in social situations, I thought I was funnier and better to be around with a dose of alcohol, and honestly I simply couldn’t deal with how low and anxious it made me feel the next day - even after just a couple of drinks, it was almost like my body was telling me it’s just not working.

I guess I fell into the category of being sober curious for a couple of years. I knew all of these reasons to quit for a while, but the main change that really made me stop, was a realisation that I needed to put myself and my own needs first.

I needed to feel the awkwardness that came up for me in social situations without soothing it with alcohol.

I needed to experience standing in my power and not just “giving in” anymore.

I needed to trust that my desire to stop drinking alcohol doesn’t make me unloveable.

I needed to take that next step of healing the part of me that doesn’t feel worthy.

I needed to align my habits with my intentions.

Life now I’ve stopped drinking

I made the decision to stop Christmas 2022, and I can’t tell you how empowered I feel for finally taking that step. How liberating it feels to say no, stand in my knowing, and move and self soothe through the discomfort when the questions come up.

The first couple of social situations were definitely the hardest. When everyone else is drinking around you it’s hard not to feel like the odd one out, but the more you stick with it, but more your confidence grows and it gets easier. I did actually cave in my first social situation, I had a shot with family to celebrate a birthday. I talk more about it in my YouTube video, but allowing myself to have that moment and being kind to myself once it happened put me in good stead - and I haven’t had a drink since.

Now, everyone just knows that I don’t drink anymore. The questions of whether I’m drinking or not don’t come - it’s bloody great.

I think it all comes down to the fact that I accepted my desire to stop and stuck with it. I finally listened to my intuition and realised, not matter how uncomfortable, I belong, with or without a gin and tonic in tow.

I thought I’d finish this post with a few questions/ responses you might expect if you stop drinking, or even choose to go a night/ social occasion without it when most other people are…

• Are you pregnant?

• But why, what’s happened?

• Is it just personal preference?

• Make sure that alcohol free stuff doesn’t come anywhere near me

• Oh, fair enough

• I could never

Mostly, on the whole, I’ve found people are just genuinely curious, and actually it’s enhanced my experience with friends and family so much more because I can be more present and intentional with how I show up.

Brené Brown describes belonging as “being part of something bigger but also having the courage to stand alone, and to belong to yourself above all else.” and giving up alcohol has allowed me to do just that, belong to myself above all else.

Sending love,

Jodie x