10 things I've learnt about being self employed

The highs, lows and lessons from a year of freelance life

First of all, some context. I’ve done a full 360. Going self employed was never actually the goal for me. Fully swept up in the girl boss era, I always thought I could juggle my passions and “side hustles” (eye roll) with a full time job. Being exhausted was a badge of honour!

Then the pandemic happened…

A cocktail of exhaustion, already working from home, and therapy, made me realise I needed to assess my relationship with work and productivity. Looking back now I had to re-build parts of my life and learn what I enjoyed again outside of "the grind”.

On the outside I was thriving, and honestly the adrenaline made it feel exciting in moments, but I was always met with anxiety and this sense of something just not being right. I wasn’t fulfilled despite all of the big career moments happening. I don’t want to dismiss this part of my life, but nothing I did was ever enough for me. I’d get an exciting opportunity which would give me a high, but soon after I’d be feeling inadequate and like I had to reach the next milestone… No wonder I was exhausted!

I handed in my notice in September 2022 to go self employed. It took months of going back and forward in my mind, but a year on, despite it’s challenges, it really is one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.

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Going into freelance life with burnout I imagined finally implementing slower moments amongst my working day, matching up my schedule with my husbands for more quality time together, staying in bed a little longer on those days my energy levels tell me to. You know, all of the ways you could romantise being self employed.

Did I, dear reader, immediately slow down, heal my burnout and live my dream freelance life?

Nope.

I looked at all of the gorgeous sides of being self employed without looking at the reality, my nervous system and thought patterns were still stuck in this idea that I needed to hustle to be worthy.

It took me months, I’d say actually most of this first year to figure things out. To learn to trust myself, and trust that through the uncertainty it will work out. Trust that I can take time to rest and things won’t fall apart.

It’s been in the last couple of months or so that some things are clicking, and kinda falling into place. My shoulders are softening. My nervous system feels used to this new way or working and being.

Anyway, with that, and to mark the fact I’m still here a year later with no plans of stopping 🎉 , here’s the things I’ve learnt along the way…

Things I’ve learnt being self employed

1. It’s an act of surrendering and re-learning. I didn’t realise just how many messages I’d picked up about work and productivity that just don’t serve me.

2. You’re not meant to do this alone. Whether online or in-person it’s so valuable to have friends or support from fellow freelancers.

3. Get clear on finances, know your enough number and thriving number so you’re aware of exactly how much you want/ need to be making per month.

4. It’s a gift to be able to work inline with your energy levels, something I’m only just leaning into and taking advantage of but finding so much joy and peace from.

5. If you don’t address the limiting beliefs and burnout, it will follow you.

6. Don’t put all of your eggs in one basket! Your nervous system will thank you for different streams of income (if you can set those up).

7. You may need to actively remind yourself that you’re not obligated to work within the traditional hours of 9-5:30… You can work when you like!

8. Taking a proper holiday may feel more difficult. Your mind might tell you it’s not safe to leave your work, but it’s absolutely necessary and you’ll come back feeling more refreshed.

9. It’s easy to bury your head in the sand when it comes to finances. Set aside an afternoon per month to review it all. Again, your nervous system will thank you.

10. Substack is an amazing resource to feel more connected! I can’t tell you how supported I feel by this community - so thank you! I particularly love Emma Gannons Substack and Letters From A Hopeful Creative for gentle business wisdom

Ultimately, my experience has been that being self employed gives you freedom, if you choose to take it.

I have a feeling a few of us will be self employed or atleast considering it, so please share your wisdom and learnings in the comments!

If you found this post useful or have used the commitment contract and enjoyed it I would be so so grateful if you shared it or restacked it. It helps other people find the Slower Space community! Thank you.