Living a slower, more gentle life
after years living consumed by hustle culture
Hello, I’m Jodie. I write about life post burnout with themes of rest, living slower, self discovery, Yoga & more. Please subscribe to support my work & to read more. You can also find me on YouTube and Instagram.
Some people are born into homes and communities where a slower way of life is the norm. Where an appreciation for nature was harboured early on, where sleep and rest were seen as vital, where your sense of self wasn’t built up by how productive you are.
Now, of-course don’t know what the stats are, but I’d guess the majority of us probably didn’t see much of that. That’s not to say our parents didn’t try their best, or even want those things for us, it’s more that society just isn’t built for it, and the opposite is encouraged.
The majority of us saw hustle and hardship as children. Over time it slowly ate away at our innate ability to rest, hustle quietly became a part of our unconscious beliefs. In order to survive (and thrive), we needed to put work and doing before everything else.
So, the big question (that happens to be one of my most asked in dm’s) is how do we go from that to living a slower, more gentle way of life? How do we actually make our realities change (instead of just day dreaming about living in a cosy shepherds hut without a care in the world but not taking action)
Trying to heal my burnout and stepping away from hustle culture has been both an internal and external job. It’s an on-going thing I’m still unlearning every single day. I’m still pulled towards it at times. It has this sense of glamour and quick fix nature to it that I notice a small part of me still being drawn to.
It’s untangling my sense of self worth with productivity, and allowing myself to have moments of calm, and do things “just because” without there having to be an agenda or shiny end result attached to it.
Getting clear on your values
A huge part of living slower for me is thinking about my values and coming back to them as much as possible. I shared how I found my values in this video. Knowing my values has made it easier to start thinking about how I can actually start living a different way.
It’s helped me recognise that there are certain things that feel intrinsically important to me. Which before had been masked by the noise and what I was told should be. I’d also highly recommend Brene Brown who has some amazing recourses and a guide on this.
My values are now my drivers, the guiding force helping me stay on this path while hustle culture keeps calling.
The values I come back to currently are belonging and contentment. It was hard whittling it down, but it was a pretty powerful moment of realisation and connection to a part of me I’d forgotten. I highly recommend that as an exercise to get a little clearer on the bigger picture stuff.
Taking aligned action
Living more intentionally with these values in mind helps me figure out why I’m doing certain things, and how I can move forward in a way that feels better.
I quickly noticed so many of the habits I had weren’t serving me. Knowing my values, it helped me start to question why (which I tried my best to do in a compassionate and curious way)…
Why am I watching TV every evening without questioning what I actually want to do? Still buying from fast fashion companies when the clothes don’t bring me joy? Scrolling on social media and using it to numb out? Starting my day with a news podcast that fills me with dread? Working till 8pm then rolling into bed exhausted? Working in a job that doesn’t bring me joy or fulfilment? Racing through non-fiction books in a bid to constantly improve myself?
Knowing my values was the first step to living less passively, and teaching myself that I had power over how I wanted to live my life. Honestly that realisation was empowering, it made me equal parts excited and scared. Up until that point, I had barely even been in the passenger seat of my life, I was locked in the boot just mindlessly letting life happen.
Small, practical things I do now to live slower…
Firstly, I really don’t want you to see this as another list of things you have to do in order to “successfully” live a calmer, slower life. I’ve fallen into the trap of devouring lists and personal development content before and trying to change everything then beating myself up when thing’s don’t work out.
These are new habits and changes I’ve made slowly over the past 2 years. They didn’t happen all at once. These things also happen alongside the moments I have a 12 hour working day, or choose to do emails over make a wholesome dinner, or binge watch YouTube videos because that feels easier than pausing after a busy day.
I honestly found starting this stuff hard, and a lot of it actually came down to self compassion and knowing I’m un-doing some deeply ingrained beliefs. So, on those days where I don’t live in alignment with my values, I try to give myself grace, and know that living in a more gentle way takes time, and there’s room for things to happen in a non-linear fashion.
Anyway, what I’m trying to say is that I hope having a glimpse into some of the changes I’ve made feels useful and supportive, not the opposite…
Getting back into bed with my book in the mornings or going to read outside
Not looking at my phone first thing in the morning or last thing at night (I did this by using an alarm clock instead of my phone, and charging my phone far away)
No longer drinking alcohol ~ more on that here
Practicing Yoga and embodied movement to come back into my physical body
Running, for the same reason as the above. There’s something about running that massively shifts stagnant energy for me so prioritising it is becoming essential.
Joined a running club to feel a sense of belonging to my local community
Walk around my local park when I can to notice the changes and connect with the seasons
Doing more things just for the sake of it without any agenda to be productive, more expressive. Over the past year this has looked like baking, making candles, wild swimming, hunting for shells and sea glass, foraging.
Gardening and paying more attention to the natural world around me and my home.
Practicing rituals, often around the seasons and to mark new/ full moons.
Taking mid-day 20 minute naps (granted I’m lucky that I work from home for this one)
Practicing meditation
Taking weekends completely offline
Shopping more second hand and shopping slower in general
Thinking about my surrounding and the impact that has on my mental health, which usually results in decluttering/ organising spaces.
Trying to sit in the waiting instead of reach for my phone/ distraction e.g. in the supermarket queue, in a waiting room, on the bus/ train.
Moving my work to focus more on my passions (the hardest of them all for me)
Taking action…
Some of this stuff might sound easy, it might be things you already do, it might feel alien to you but sounds ideal.
When I spoke to my therapist about a desire to slow down but the struggle to put it into action, she noticed I was so in my own thoughts that it was stunting any movement and courage towards moving forward. Her advice was simple, and left me nodding without a word to say, because I already knew it deep down…
“just start doing it, interrupt those thoughts with action”
Do it alongside the doubt, the worry, the lack of self belief, the anxiety, fear of something new, patterns that tell you it’s easier to stay where you are. It takes courage, but experiment and see how it feels.
What if we started seeing living slower less like slowing down and being calmer, and more like taking action in a new way. Swapping out a couple of those habits you want to change with something new one at a time. All whilst knowing it doesn’t have to be perfect, your self doubt and anxiety or whatever is holding you back can come along for the ride.
If I’d have seen this 2 years ago I would never have thought I’d be able to change my life this much. I spent a long time thinking about living slower and calmer before I started taking teeny tiny steps towards it. It felt scary to change in this way, it still feels scary! But, it’s one I’m learning, and proving to myself, can be done alongside the doubts and all of the mind stuff that can creep in.
How did you start taking action towards living slower? What small things do you do now that help you?
love & gratitude,
Jodie x
ps. If you found this post useful/ enjoyed it I would be so grateful if you shared it or restacked it. It helps other people find the Slower Space community! Thank you x
Such a lovely post 💕 I especially love your therapists advice as we can spend all the time planning and never actually get round to the doing. Also love what you said about seeing it as a different way of living, as opposed to taking something away - that almost feels like a deprivation, whereas a different way of living seems more inviting, almost exciting! You’ve reminded me how I used to do social media free weekends, one to reintroduce. I also recently have accidentally got into the habit of waiting without phones, it reminds me of pre phone times and it’s so fun to just people watch and ‘be’! I’ve started spreading my essential tasks more evenly across the week, rather than cramming them all into two days. All I did on my apparent ‘days off’ was full them with more tasks because I had the keep going inertia. Sort of like the schedule your self care time before other things! 💕
Love this post! I think a slow & gentle life looks different for everyone and that is some of the beauty of it. Thank you for carving out a space on the internet to discuss it 🫶🏼