The life-changing magic of meeting your edge
when feeling some discomfort *might* just be what you need...
I have a confession…
In the case of wanting to live slower, I’ve made my life too comfortable.
It’s a privileged position to be in, but I’ve accidentally moved from one extreme to the another.
Pre-pandemic I did too much. Spent most of my time out of the house. “Hustled” (which feels cringe to write now, but it’s a badge of honour I wore for a while).
Thankfully being busy or stressed is no longer a marker of success for me. I rest more, eat proper meals, have time to just be…
But, for all it’s flaws, with this busier way of living came new experiences, and moments where I met my edge. Many moments of stress were perpetual, but some turned into magic and increased my self-esteem.
Moments that stretched me, in a good way. Times where I proved my anxieties wrong. More greetings with that rawness that only comes with challenges.
Moments where I couldn’t just coast through, but I was pushed to tap into something deeper (I see now with hindsight) in a positive way.
meeting your edge; moments that feel out of your comfort zone and allow you to grow physically and mentally
I’m 18 months into being self employed, and I realise now I’ve played it abit too safe. I say this with kindness, it’s what my nervous system has needed to get through after years of fight or flight, but I can see now how self doubt and craving a sense of security has actually made me play small - stick to what I already know.
I’ve also allowed myself to use this idea of living a slower, more simple life as a way out of the things that can feel uncomfortable - but often necessary!
I confused the good and the bad stress we can experience.
So much in my life, both inside and outside of work became softer and slower - I realised I needed to find some excitement, do more that fills me with that feeling of fear, excitement, hope and possibility.
This isn’t to throw shade at the concept of slow living at all, I align with so many of the values and what it represents. Trust me when I say feeling stressed isn’t the end goal. It’s more an exploration of my interpretation, and the areas of my life I’ve let go off, but actually need to claw back!
Back in January I read This One Wild And Precious Life. This was when I recognised this sense of needing more. Seeing the definition it instantly resonated. I knew I needed to start making changes for the sake of fully living.
Buddhist nun Pema Chodron wrote in The Wisdom of No Escape:
“Life is a whole journey of meeting your edge again and again. That’s where, if you’re a person who wants to live, you start to ask yourself questions like, “Now, why am I so scared? What is it that I don’t want to see? Why can’t I go any further than this?”’
So, I guess you could say my intention for the rest of 2024 is to shake things up, have the courage to take up space in a way that feels expansive for me.
I want to do more that makes me feel fearful (but excited), make mistakes, gently push myself.
Give myself permission to dream bigger, knowing I can handle the outcome and that I’m worthy of it.
This isn’t just related to work. I want to pursue more challenging hikes, keep building on my strength in the gym, learn new skills that would have once felt impossible. I can feel my intuition guiding me toward this.
Since thinking about how I can meet my edge and dream bigger, it’s been amazing to see what’s cropped up that I’ve clearly been denying myself of.
What feels scary but exciting to you?
Since realising this I’ve made a start… I’ve started a book club, led a women’s walk, hosted wellbeing sessions, started experimenting with new work projects, met some challenging health stuff that’s put things into perspective. All things that previously I’ve wondered how I’d manage or cope, but I’ve got through and grown from.
So, whilst feeling grounded and at ease is a blessing, I realise now, it’s time to bring those skills and everything I’ve learnt into dreaming and living a bit bigger too…
This one feels a little vulnerable to post (in a good way), so, if it resonates, I’d love to meet you in the comments!
Here’s to living full life!
Until next time,
Jodie x
It absolutely resonates Jodie!
I think the thing most of us miss out on is to understand that a fulfilling life consists of one thing: balance. Sometimes we have to step outside of our comfort zone to grow. We just need to train our mind to understand exactly what those situations should be. It's lovely that you have recognised this. I have been on the opposite end of where you are at the moment for a while now. I am working on reminding myself that not everything in life should be a hustle or an experience to learn something out of. Sometimes it's okay to slow down and just be.
A beautiful post - and a much needed, perfect timing reminder to me too…to live bigger, to dream bigger, to take risks. Much of my life too has been stress filled, hustle oriented - the hustling simply a means to keep myself alive - but what I am learning (I think) in this current phase of my life is the need for balance - my nervous system needs the calm, slow but beautiful plodding of the life I am creating for myself - but my soul, my being, my mind needs that ‘edge’ - otherwise, I find myself asking ‘what am I doing here’ I am trying to work up the courage to start a Substack - to find and allow my voice to be heard - to meet myself waaaayyyyy out in the edge ! Thank you for this wonderful post to remind me that sometimes the edge can be a fulfilling, worthy place to be too 🙏🏻