I have a tricky relationship with social media as well. But like you (and others in the comments) have mentioned: creating boundaries is essential. While I'm tempted to quit cold turkey, I'm still a bit hesitant to make the leap to be completely honest. In the meantime, I've really enjoyed my time on Substack, where I've formed genuine connections with others. Instead of doom scrolling, I find myself opening up to a new world of inspiration.
I love the 8am/8pm rule. I try to have social media free days. But it’s tough because I also use social media for my small business so trying to separate scrolling vs. being useful/necessary
I definitely resonated with this, Jodie. I’ve wanted to take breaks from social media in the past but I’m a freelance content creator and copywriter, so a lot of my work involves social media. I’ve had to create boundaries for myself (like not going on in the mornings, evenings, or weekends), which has helped. Also intentional content creation for myself reminds me of the aspects of social media that I enjoy ☺️
Ahh, sounds like we’re in a very similar position! I enjoy my job and don’t want it to change, but equally it’s interesting noticing the downsides and how much of a slippery slope it can become
Oh I felt this on a cellular level. I deleted all my socials when the pandemic lockdown lifted in the UK and with the exception of LinkedIn, I haven’t looked back. It’s ironic that LinkedIn is my exception because as a platform it is FULL of people who love to toot their own horn and it’s rare to see anything truly genuine, but I have to keep it for work reasons. That said, since deleting the others I’m a lot more aware of the nonsense I see on there and noticing that it’s just that - nonsense!
Overall my mental health massively improved when I binned off my socials.
This resonated with me, thank you for naming all the things we all experience-- the good, bad, and ugly! Cal Newport introduced me to the concept of active leisure in Digital Minimalism and it's such a powerful way of taking back your time. In 2020 I set a reading goal as a means of shifting my habit of picking up my phone to a habit of picking up a book and it's been life-changing. And how rewarding that things like cooking and gardening, which nourish us physically and emotionally, can also combat the addiction of social media?! I love that so much.
I did an experiment for the month of April and took my longtime Instagram account off of my phone so that if I wanted to look at it, I had to access it through my laptop. Well, it is now the middle of May, and I never added the account back to my phone! I've found that by only utilizing my Instagram account through the desktop, I don't check it as often. Sometimes many days go by, without me even noticing. Also, I don't see as many ads. Right now, I am okay with doing it this way, but I'll leave the door open as to whether or not I put it back on my phone 😊
Love this so much and glad it’s working for you! There’s definitely a sense of detachment to the addictive elements/ ability to scrol mindlessly on desktop
I think I’ve cultivated a fairly good relationship with social media, but it’s taken many years, and that relationship is constantly up for renewal and reassessment. I think the most important thing is being in control, rather than letting it control you. I think that’s where boundaries come in, though I don’t personally set any time boundaries. I think I’ve learnt a lot from embracing it and accepting it. It’s not for everyone - it’s not always for me, and I’m certainly very careful - but for all the negativity, I think it’s a hugely powerful force for good. I think the best advice I received was to go deep not wide - build deep and meaningful relationships with the connections which mean most to you, rather than going after the big numbers and reach. Enjoy it for the journey, and use if a mindful way which supports slow and sustainable growth.
My phone offers me connection to specialist whole family healing/ home ed/ writing/ healing/ self care/ self help/ solo parenting groups etc that I need that without I would have really suffered as my time for in person connection is limited atm.
I love Netflix and I feel very grateful for some really good quality entertainment as I’m mainly home based.
I am writing a book using Google docs about my experience and when I’m running and dog walking, when I have my best ideas it gives me instant access to jot them down so they’re not forgotten
My son has a lot of screen time/ gaming and it’s kept him connected to old school friends when he was doing homelearning which he loves. I watch him play and his skills are awesome.
There’s many ND people who focus better when they are tuned into more that one screen to help with concentration ie scrolling whilst watching a movie. See Heidi MAVIR’s work- author of My Child Is Not Broken.
It’s like with any addiction isn’t it. It’s not the shopping, eating, drugs and alcohol. These are symptoms of our underlying mental distress and disconnection which drives the addictions
So anything that offers healthy connection will help. And I see my online connections as healthy connections
I remember reading helpful advice, that if your online communication/ learning/ connection isn’t serving you well then it’s more a case of changing who you are connected to and changing groups/ contacts.
I absolutely agree with you that it’s important to have a good balance of activities of online/ off line/ indoors and outdoors activities ❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹
My relationship with social media is also complicated! I love to use it as a creative outlet, but can easily spend too much time on it and literally become addicted to it. Boundaries are so needed and I love the idea of not going on it before or after 8, as I always feel when I go on it first thing I crave that dopamine it the rest of the day!
I’d definitely say I’ve felt addicted too, I think so many of us have experienced that though! Definitely notice the dopamine hit when I go on for prolonged periods, I feel tired afterwards!
Your journey of finding balance and creating a fulfilling life outside of social media is truly inspiring. Your insights on active leisure and mindful boundaries resonate deeply. Keep flourishing!
This is at the forefront of my mind lately, but I too find it difficult to just completely walk away as I work as a Product Mgr in the technology industry. I appreciate your thoughts on this as setting boundaries are what I'll be doing as well more formally. I'll have to read on your suggested links here too for some more ideas around this. Thanks!
Thanks for sharing this! I did leave social media but crawled back to Instagram (mainly to see my best friend’s travel adventures) and feel obliged to use Facebook to find local people to connect with. I use it much less but I still face similar issues to you. I’m really interested by this active leisure idea! It’s not a concept I’ve heard of before but really appeals to me, especially as someone with ADHD.
Hey! I didn’t mention it in this post but I do have traits of ADHD and think that could be linked to how social media makes me feel. Active leisure and understanding that has been a game changer for me!
I have a tricky relationship with social media as well. But like you (and others in the comments) have mentioned: creating boundaries is essential. While I'm tempted to quit cold turkey, I'm still a bit hesitant to make the leap to be completely honest. In the meantime, I've really enjoyed my time on Substack, where I've formed genuine connections with others. Instead of doom scrolling, I find myself opening up to a new world of inspiration.
I love the 8am/8pm rule. I try to have social media free days. But it’s tough because I also use social media for my small business so trying to separate scrolling vs. being useful/necessary
I know the struggle Maria, it can definitely feel like you’ll be left behind if you’re not online/ don’t post!
I definitely resonated with this, Jodie. I’ve wanted to take breaks from social media in the past but I’m a freelance content creator and copywriter, so a lot of my work involves social media. I’ve had to create boundaries for myself (like not going on in the mornings, evenings, or weekends), which has helped. Also intentional content creation for myself reminds me of the aspects of social media that I enjoy ☺️
Ahh, sounds like we’re in a very similar position! I enjoy my job and don’t want it to change, but equally it’s interesting noticing the downsides and how much of a slippery slope it can become
Oh I felt this on a cellular level. I deleted all my socials when the pandemic lockdown lifted in the UK and with the exception of LinkedIn, I haven’t looked back. It’s ironic that LinkedIn is my exception because as a platform it is FULL of people who love to toot their own horn and it’s rare to see anything truly genuine, but I have to keep it for work reasons. That said, since deleting the others I’m a lot more aware of the nonsense I see on there and noticing that it’s just that - nonsense!
Overall my mental health massively improved when I binned off my socials.
This resonated with me, thank you for naming all the things we all experience-- the good, bad, and ugly! Cal Newport introduced me to the concept of active leisure in Digital Minimalism and it's such a powerful way of taking back your time. In 2020 I set a reading goal as a means of shifting my habit of picking up my phone to a habit of picking up a book and it's been life-changing. And how rewarding that things like cooking and gardening, which nourish us physically and emotionally, can also combat the addiction of social media?! I love that so much.
I did an experiment for the month of April and took my longtime Instagram account off of my phone so that if I wanted to look at it, I had to access it through my laptop. Well, it is now the middle of May, and I never added the account back to my phone! I've found that by only utilizing my Instagram account through the desktop, I don't check it as often. Sometimes many days go by, without me even noticing. Also, I don't see as many ads. Right now, I am okay with doing it this way, but I'll leave the door open as to whether or not I put it back on my phone 😊
Love this so much and glad it’s working for you! There’s definitely a sense of detachment to the addictive elements/ ability to scrol mindlessly on desktop
I write this blog post six years and have recently updated it: https://www.davidbartonmusic.co.uk/putting-the-social-into-social-media/ I was surprised that I didn’t really change that much in the sense I think much advice still stands.
I think I’ve cultivated a fairly good relationship with social media, but it’s taken many years, and that relationship is constantly up for renewal and reassessment. I think the most important thing is being in control, rather than letting it control you. I think that’s where boundaries come in, though I don’t personally set any time boundaries. I think I’ve learnt a lot from embracing it and accepting it. It’s not for everyone - it’s not always for me, and I’m certainly very careful - but for all the negativity, I think it’s a hugely powerful force for good. I think the best advice I received was to go deep not wide - build deep and meaningful relationships with the connections which mean most to you, rather than going after the big numbers and reach. Enjoy it for the journey, and use if a mindful way which supports slow and sustainable growth.
My phone offers me connection to specialist whole family healing/ home ed/ writing/ healing/ self care/ self help/ solo parenting groups etc that I need that without I would have really suffered as my time for in person connection is limited atm.
I love Netflix and I feel very grateful for some really good quality entertainment as I’m mainly home based.
I am writing a book using Google docs about my experience and when I’m running and dog walking, when I have my best ideas it gives me instant access to jot them down so they’re not forgotten
My son has a lot of screen time/ gaming and it’s kept him connected to old school friends when he was doing homelearning which he loves. I watch him play and his skills are awesome.
There’s many ND people who focus better when they are tuned into more that one screen to help with concentration ie scrolling whilst watching a movie. See Heidi MAVIR’s work- author of My Child Is Not Broken.
It’s like with any addiction isn’t it. It’s not the shopping, eating, drugs and alcohol. These are symptoms of our underlying mental distress and disconnection which drives the addictions
So anything that offers healthy connection will help. And I see my online connections as healthy connections
I remember reading helpful advice, that if your online communication/ learning/ connection isn’t serving you well then it’s more a case of changing who you are connected to and changing groups/ contacts.
I absolutely agree with you that it’s important to have a good balance of activities of online/ off line/ indoors and outdoors activities ❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹
I agree! For me it’s more of doing things that I love and enjoy that make me not want to be on phone and doing more of those!
Exactly ❤️
My relationship with social media is also complicated! I love to use it as a creative outlet, but can easily spend too much time on it and literally become addicted to it. Boundaries are so needed and I love the idea of not going on it before or after 8, as I always feel when I go on it first thing I crave that dopamine it the rest of the day!
I’d definitely say I’ve felt addicted too, I think so many of us have experienced that though! Definitely notice the dopamine hit when I go on for prolonged periods, I feel tired afterwards!
Your journey of finding balance and creating a fulfilling life outside of social media is truly inspiring. Your insights on active leisure and mindful boundaries resonate deeply. Keep flourishing!
This is at the forefront of my mind lately, but I too find it difficult to just completely walk away as I work as a Product Mgr in the technology industry. I appreciate your thoughts on this as setting boundaries are what I'll be doing as well more formally. I'll have to read on your suggested links here too for some more ideas around this. Thanks!
Thanks for sharing this! I did leave social media but crawled back to Instagram (mainly to see my best friend’s travel adventures) and feel obliged to use Facebook to find local people to connect with. I use it much less but I still face similar issues to you. I’m really interested by this active leisure idea! It’s not a concept I’ve heard of before but really appeals to me, especially as someone with ADHD.
Hey! I didn’t mention it in this post but I do have traits of ADHD and think that could be linked to how social media makes me feel. Active leisure and understanding that has been a game changer for me!