This resonates Jodie! I read my first proper self-help books about 5 years ago and came a long way, sure they “helped” but I also released that the answers I’m really seeking, I can only find within.
Similar to books, also courses. Why do we in the wellbeing space always think we need to do more trainings… I mean I have over 600h yoga, women’s wellbeing, cyclical business, sound therapy, in addition to endless “professional” certificates for my day job 😅
Just like books, I also stopped signing up for courses or free webinars, it was all just too much for my mind and focus on external knowledge . Xx
Thanks for sharing Carmen, SO true about the courses! I used to sign up to so many webinars, listen to so many podcasts etc - it gets to the point of complete overwhelm and not being able to truly listen into what you actually need x
This resonated so much Jodie, thank you. I had a similar experience to yours in that I hated reading as a child and started by reading self-help books a few years ago to try help with my anxiety. My mind often thinks that I have so many aspects of myself that I need to ‘work on’ and self-help seemed like the way forward. It’s still a mindset that I’m trying to soften and let go of.
A couple of years after, when I was feeling particularly low I decided to pick up a fiction book I’d bought a year or so previously and I adored it. And I’ve read mostly fiction ever since! I love getting lost in different worlds and felt my writing has improved because of it too.
Don’t get me wrong there’s still a few self-help books I’d like to read in the future, but similar to to yourself, I now wouldn’t read them in my downtime x
So similar Jenna! Feels like we’re in the same place. Reading more fiction has allowed me to step back from the idea that every waking moment needs to be “productive”, which is the story I was telling myself while reading so much self help.
Agreed, I’ll still read non-fiction and self help, but being mindful of what’s driving the urge! X
Loved hearing your perspective on this! I have been reading more self-help books lately as they were recommended read for my health coach training so I haven’t really been going in with the mindset of needing to fix anything about myself, but I can definitely understand where you are coming from
My experience is a bit different as none of the self help books make me feel ‘not enough’. The opposite. I learn to heal wounds from the books and heal this ‘not enough’ fear.
Dr Gabor Mate’s books are my favourites and I recognise quite a few others on your piles too.
I am healing from whole family complex trauma and my emotions are mostly too big to share and too big to keep inside so I write and read many self help/ healing books.
I like the term bibliotherapy and consider the authors of these books as my friends who support my with my healing. Especially as most friends and family are already maxed out with their own lives and as a good trauma healing therapist is hard to find and expensive.
My self help books are therefore a treasured part of my life and I’m very grateful for them 😊❤️🩹
I do agree with your tips to write down new learning that you want to implement as not everything is going to resonate, be valuable or relevant
Thank you for sharing your experience. I've definitely gained a lot from those that share wisdom around healing, trauma and regulation - they've been invaluable to me and I still revisit and purchase similar books (I love Gabor Mate's work). Ultimately though I was using the books as a way to actually get out of doing the healing, and some of them just didn't align.
I really appreciated this, Jodie. I went through something similar a few years ago and now I rarely pick up a self-help book – for me I just felt so overwhelmed by all of the advice and philosophy, and I found that it was often contradictory information because every author has their own opinion about how we should approach our wellbeing! These books can certainly help to guide us, but I think that a great deal of introspection is needed when it comes to knowing how we can truly help ourselves and our own personal needs. Thanks so much for this article 🌻
I'm just now realizing I've been in a toxic relationship with self help content where I feel terrible after consuming it but keep coming back for more. Just like many things in life, I see now that I need to start setting boundaries between me and self help content in order to live my life more authentically. This post definitely emboldened me to keep setting those boundaries. xx
Ahhh I relate to this so much! I’ve inhaled so many self help books/ podcasts over the years. at the start of this year made it a goal to switch to more fiction and chatty podcasts. I am feeling calmer for it ❤️
Hi Jodie :) congrats on the book club, it sounds so wholesome & like a really positive thing! I haven’t had this experience as such with self help books but definitely with podcasts (think I might’ve said this before). However when I have checked out a self help book from the library I have prioritised it over any other reading, which reflecting on that makes me question the origins of me wanting to read it (fear? Scarcity?). For me it’s that fear of missing something that might fix me, and the ever lasting quest for the magical answer to life. I nodded so much when you said that the answers lie in us, as with my mental health conditions in the past I have always outsourced, but when I actually tuned in that was when I made progress! As for a positive self help book, the only real one I can think of is James Clear’s Atomic Habits (gutted I wasn’t a note taker at that time as I would have loved some notes on it!). I also loved Emmy Brunner’s Find Your True Voice as it did speak to me a lot. Best wishes for The Story Social & enjoy your time reading! :)
This resonates Jodie! I read my first proper self-help books about 5 years ago and came a long way, sure they “helped” but I also released that the answers I’m really seeking, I can only find within.
Similar to books, also courses. Why do we in the wellbeing space always think we need to do more trainings… I mean I have over 600h yoga, women’s wellbeing, cyclical business, sound therapy, in addition to endless “professional” certificates for my day job 😅
Just like books, I also stopped signing up for courses or free webinars, it was all just too much for my mind and focus on external knowledge . Xx
Thanks for sharing Carmen, SO true about the courses! I used to sign up to so many webinars, listen to so many podcasts etc - it gets to the point of complete overwhelm and not being able to truly listen into what you actually need x
Oh yes the endless podcast listening i completely forgot about. 😅
This resonated so much Jodie, thank you. I had a similar experience to yours in that I hated reading as a child and started by reading self-help books a few years ago to try help with my anxiety. My mind often thinks that I have so many aspects of myself that I need to ‘work on’ and self-help seemed like the way forward. It’s still a mindset that I’m trying to soften and let go of.
A couple of years after, when I was feeling particularly low I decided to pick up a fiction book I’d bought a year or so previously and I adored it. And I’ve read mostly fiction ever since! I love getting lost in different worlds and felt my writing has improved because of it too.
Don’t get me wrong there’s still a few self-help books I’d like to read in the future, but similar to to yourself, I now wouldn’t read them in my downtime x
So similar Jenna! Feels like we’re in the same place. Reading more fiction has allowed me to step back from the idea that every waking moment needs to be “productive”, which is the story I was telling myself while reading so much self help.
Agreed, I’ll still read non-fiction and self help, but being mindful of what’s driving the urge! X
Loved hearing your perspective on this! I have been reading more self-help books lately as they were recommended read for my health coach training so I haven’t really been going in with the mindset of needing to fix anything about myself, but I can definitely understand where you are coming from
The mindset element of it is definitely a key thing. I still read non-fiction and self help but just try to limit it/ think about why I’m choosing to!
Hello 👋 Jodie
Thank you for this interesting article.
My experience is a bit different as none of the self help books make me feel ‘not enough’. The opposite. I learn to heal wounds from the books and heal this ‘not enough’ fear.
Dr Gabor Mate’s books are my favourites and I recognise quite a few others on your piles too.
I am healing from whole family complex trauma and my emotions are mostly too big to share and too big to keep inside so I write and read many self help/ healing books.
I like the term bibliotherapy and consider the authors of these books as my friends who support my with my healing. Especially as most friends and family are already maxed out with their own lives and as a good trauma healing therapist is hard to find and expensive.
My self help books are therefore a treasured part of my life and I’m very grateful for them 😊❤️🩹
I do agree with your tips to write down new learning that you want to implement as not everything is going to resonate, be valuable or relevant
Best wishes
Piata xx
Thank you for sharing your experience. I've definitely gained a lot from those that share wisdom around healing, trauma and regulation - they've been invaluable to me and I still revisit and purchase similar books (I love Gabor Mate's work). Ultimately though I was using the books as a way to actually get out of doing the healing, and some of them just didn't align.
I really appreciated this, Jodie. I went through something similar a few years ago and now I rarely pick up a self-help book – for me I just felt so overwhelmed by all of the advice and philosophy, and I found that it was often contradictory information because every author has their own opinion about how we should approach our wellbeing! These books can certainly help to guide us, but I think that a great deal of introspection is needed when it comes to knowing how we can truly help ourselves and our own personal needs. Thanks so much for this article 🌻
I'm just now realizing I've been in a toxic relationship with self help content where I feel terrible after consuming it but keep coming back for more. Just like many things in life, I see now that I need to start setting boundaries between me and self help content in order to live my life more authentically. This post definitely emboldened me to keep setting those boundaries. xx
Ahhh I relate to this so much! I’ve inhaled so many self help books/ podcasts over the years. at the start of this year made it a goal to switch to more fiction and chatty podcasts. I am feeling calmer for it ❤️
Hi Jodie :) congrats on the book club, it sounds so wholesome & like a really positive thing! I haven’t had this experience as such with self help books but definitely with podcasts (think I might’ve said this before). However when I have checked out a self help book from the library I have prioritised it over any other reading, which reflecting on that makes me question the origins of me wanting to read it (fear? Scarcity?). For me it’s that fear of missing something that might fix me, and the ever lasting quest for the magical answer to life. I nodded so much when you said that the answers lie in us, as with my mental health conditions in the past I have always outsourced, but when I actually tuned in that was when I made progress! As for a positive self help book, the only real one I can think of is James Clear’s Atomic Habits (gutted I wasn’t a note taker at that time as I would have loved some notes on it!). I also loved Emmy Brunner’s Find Your True Voice as it did speak to me a lot. Best wishes for The Story Social & enjoy your time reading! :)