Slow Living: The Version You See On Social Media vs Reality

because more often that not, there's a few things missing

Aug 08, 2023

Do you find it easy to implement slow living?

When I initially discovered slow living, a scene of peace and tranquillity was painted for me. After a few years of feeling exhausted, struggling to rest and wanting to slow down, I knew I absolutely wanted to be a part of it. I discovered slow living via TikTok (ironic given just how fast paced the platform is). So naturally, it quickly (and subtly) became more about how things looked, rather than how they felt.

Slow living looked like beautiful linens drying on the line in a large sunny garden, organic, wholesome meals, long daily walks in nature, homes that came straight out of magazines without a thing out of place. I get it now, a by-product of adopting a life that aligns with slow living principles is that things are more considered, and often, more aesthetically pleasing.

This isn’t a bad thing, but, it can also be a trap, and right into that trap I fell. Slow living became another thing I had to strive towards, a way to hold myself to high standards and then shame myself when my life didn’t meet them.

Unknowingly at the time, it became another box to try and squeeze myself into. Another stack of books to buy, people to follow, podcasts to listen to and information to consume, which I now realise was just taking me further away from actually making meaningful changes in my own life. I was so focused on how it looked rather than how it felt…

The visual elements of slow living shown on social media ultimately made it feel like it wasn’t accessible to me. I also realise now I was trying to live slower while my nervous system was at a baseline of exhaustion, which makes just living life a struggle, never mind doing it with any form of intention!

All of this left me feeling ashamed, like maybe this slow living thing wasn’t for me. Why couldn’t I just slow down and have this beautiful life that looks so easy?

The Rise Of Slow Living

The slow living movement began in Italy in the 1980’s by journalist Carlo Petrini, originally focusing on slow food which sparked a larger movement to include work, parenting, leisure, the home and now essentially most aspects of life (source: Eco Watch).

A lot of the principles also stem from traditional Indian culture. I can also see a huge cross over with Yoga philosophy when it comes to one of the 8 Limbs Of Yoga - Santosha, which translates to contentment, and bringing a quality of that into your own life.

When I think about it’s origins and the ideas that underpin slow living, that’s what excites me.

Google consumer insights shows that searches for ‘Slow living’ have been on the rise since around May 2020 (aligning with the global pandemic). This also happens to be the time that TikTok really started to take off - a platform built off trends.

Slow Living & Social Media…

I don’t think talking about slow living and sharing it on social media is a bad thing, earlier this year I actually decided to be part of this!

After learning about slow living via social media for the first time and not having the best experience, earlier this year, I started documenting my journey with slow living on TikTok. I wanted to share the reality of it, the changes I’ve had to make in order to carve out a more intentional life and my struggles along the way. The humanness of slow living I guess. It feels obvious now, but I’ve found that platforms like TikTok do make it hard to live mindfully. The algorithms want you to post more, consume more and do more ~ the opposite of the life I’m looking to lead.

If anything it’s changed my life and introduced me to a way of living I had no idea would be possible for me. It’s helped me find communities of people that want to change their lives for the better!

The key issue, as I’ve mentioned, is the sheer focus on how it looks. It’s the extremes that gets the views and the idealistic version of slow living that often grabs our attention, yet, paradoxically, also makes us feel like that way of living is so out of reach for us.

The algorithms show us this beautiful way of living, whilst for most, also tells us it’s out of reach without access to certain things.

For most, slow living takes work

The thing is, for most living slower and more intentionally is a complete lifestyle change. It’s not just a case of changing a few things, it’s questioning the capitalist society so many of us have built lives upon (and depend upon in order to live)! Not once did I see a post that highlighted the potential difficulties of it, or anything that shared the reality in that it requires financial security, healing your nervous system, and so much more. Growing up in a working class family where hustle was the norm, living slower was really going against and questioning everything I knew.

I know that these platforms are visual, and I appreciate (and love) how beautiful a slow life can be, but I think we need more honesty around how it’s actually quite uncomfortable (and simply impossible for many) to rebel against capitalist systems and carve out a more simple, intentional life for yourself.

Slow living is an act of rebellion that takes courage, but also a level of privilege and financial security.

I had to heal before I could even consider living slower. When your nervous system has been in survival mode for years, you can’t just set the intention or decided to change that one day. It takes constant work, self compassion, community (and often a therapist).

What slow living looks like for me now, in reality…

While experimenting with slow living over the past year, I’ve realised I prefer to say “slower living”. My intention is to live slower. To continue to heal my nervous system and create a meaningful life. It’s allowing myself to have lunch breaks instead of working through them, it’s taking a nap and not feeling guilty for it (more on that here). It’s shopping more mindfully and being intentional. It’s swapping scrolling for gardening or reading.

It’s looking at how I can create a meaningful life that feels calm and joyful to me. In terms of the visual element, I’d be lying if I said that hasn’t changed. I’m a Yoga teacher now, my home is definitely less cluttered, I have less clothes, I’m mindful with money, I eat mostly vegetarian and use eco friendly products, but, I don’t beat myself up anymore if it doesn’t look perfect. I also have a fitbit, like going to festivals, eat milk chocolate, occasionally buy something from Zara if I really love it and adore the occasional busy day in London walking from one food place to the next.

I’ve learnt that slow living isn’t about fitting yourself into a box, it’s creating a life that feels intentional and meaningful to you, and it’s perfectly okay if it doesn’t look like the aesthetic you see on social media…

Has social media made you feel like slow living needs to look a certain way? Honestly, I’ve felt a little nervous to share this one and it’s been sat in the drafts, so I’d love to hear your thoughts!